Summary: After being deaged Mai, Shu and Emperor Pilaf contemplate if they are really villains.
Fandom: Dragon Ball Z Characters: Mai, Shu, Pilaf
“Are we really villains?” Mai asked her two companions. She was drinking a strawberry milkshake.
They were in a cafe instead of at a local bar since they’d accidentally wished themselves into children with the Dragon Balls. No-one was going to serve alcohol to people who appeared as minors no matter how old their identification said they were.
“Of course we are Mai,” Emperor Pilaf replied. “We want to take over the world that makes us villains.”
“I don’t know boss,” Shu said, agreeing with Mai. “That is our overall goal, but we don’t exactly do anything else that is really evil, like other criminal organisations.”
“Because of our lack of villainous plots, the rest of the organisation left us years ago. It’s only us three now. Has been for years, we cannot even recruit more people despite trying. How are three people going to rule the whole world when we cannot even manage an organisation? If we do manage to somehow take over how are we going to manage?” Mai asked her boss.
Shu nodded along in agreement. “Yeah, what Mai said. Our biggest rivals, the one who stands between us ruling the world didn’t even recognise us. They were kind to us and invited us to that birthday party.”
“Well, that just means that we have to do something really evil to make up for it.” Pilaf replied to his two henchmen and closest friends.
“Are you kids done? Do you want anything else?” One of the waitresses asked them kindly.
“No thank you, ma’am,” Shu replied.
“It was a really nice meal,” Mai agreed.
“We’ll be leaving now. But thank you,” Pilaf said to the woman.
The three got up and left the cafe, Shu leaving a small tip. The waitress smiled and waved as they left.
They gathered in the local park, sitting in the fort. The other children leaving them alone.
“We’re losing our touch.” Pilaf ranted. “What type of criminal organisation pay’s for their food and are kind to the waitress staff. We even left a tip!”
“I don’t think we had much of a touch to lose, sir,” Mai told him. “We were never that good at the criminal thing anyway.”
Shu nodded again. “Yeah, whenever we steal something we leave a note telling them that we would bring said item back or leave money to pay for the item and we do after we are finished with it. We do return items. If something happens that we can’t bring it back, then we send them money.”
“And we nearly caused the success of the world being concurred, but it wasn’t by us. It was by King Piccolo who we released.” Mai continued.
“Okay, we’re awful at concurring the world. Instead we’ve been opening it up for other villains.” Pilaf admitted. “But we are still villains. Aren’t we?”
“Maybe we need to give up on the concurring the world thing boss,” Shu suggested. “I mean we’ve been trying for a really long time now. Goku is now a grandfather; he was only a little kid when we started out. Go for something smaller.”
“Think of it this way sir, do you really want to spend all that time trying to stop other people concurring the world if we do succeed?” Mai pointed out the reality of what they would face.
“But we’ve been trying to concur the world for years. It will be sad to stop. I can’t think of anything that we would do instead,” Pilaf said.
“Maybe start with something small, like rebuilding your kingdom?” Mai suggested.
“That’s a great idea, Mai! I will rebuild my kingdom. Once my kingdom has been rebuilt, I will re-evaluate my plans.”
“How about finding the Dagon Balls to wish us back into adults?” Shu suggested. “I wanted to be younger, but not this young?”
“Do you think if we asked nicely that Bulma would let us use the Dragon Balls?” Pilaf asked his two henchmen friends.
“What harm can asking do?” Mai said. “If she says no we are stuck like this until we grow up. If she says yes, we get to be in our mid-twenties again.”
“Why mid-twenties?” Pilaf asked.
“My voice was still breaking when I was in my early twenties.” Shu agreed with Mai.
“I had horrible acne that only cleared up in my early twenties. I don’t want to have acne again.” Mai said.
“Okay, mid-twenties it is.” Pilaf agreed. “What are you going to do with that little boyfriend of yours, Mai? Won’t Bulma be mad?”
Mai gulped. “He’s not really my boyfriend. Now let’s go and hope his mother doesn’t kill me. Age ourselves first and then work on the kingdom.”
They had gathered up the courage, and Bulma had agreed to meet them. “Are you kids here to play with Trunks? I’m afraid he’s not here at the moment. He’s out with his father.”
Mai sighed in relief; she really did not want to see Trunks.
“No, you see. We’re the Pilaf gang.” Emperor Pilaf told her. “We want to borrow to the Dragon Balls and wish ourselves older.”
“Mid-twenties to be precise,” Shu told Bulma.
“We used the Dragon Balls to wish ourselves younger, but weren’t specific and the Dragon turned us into children. I do not want to go through puberty for a second time.” Mai explained.
Bulma laughed. “I don’t know how I didn’t see that before. Sure I’ll help, as long as you guys promise not to take over the world again.”
“We’ve decided that we no longer want to rule the world.” Pilaf told Bulma honestly. “Too much effort to stay in charge from other people that want to conquer the world.”
“We are going to rebuild Emperor Pilaf’s Kingdom. And after that, we haven’t decided what we want to do.” Shu told Bulma.
“But we won’t promise that we won’t be villains anymore. We’ve been villains for our whole life, and do know anything different. We can promise that we won’t conquer the world.” Mai said.
“Or mess with you guys,” Shu added.
Pilaf and Mai nodding in agreement with Shu.
They were themselves again. Bulma had wished them all back to their mid-twenties. They didn’t even have to wait since she already had the Dragon Balls. They stood in the ruins of the kingdom, a place they hadn’t returned to since Goku had turned into a giant monkey ape thingy and destroyed everything.
“Looks like we don’t have to think of another goal anytime soon boss. We have a lot of work to rebuild your kingdom.” Shu said.
“You two get to work, my Kingdom won’t rebuild itself.” Pilaf ordered them.
“Yes, boss.” Mai and Shu said together.
All three happy to no longer be children and working towards a goal that they could actually succeed in. Then they could work out what type of villains they wanted to be.
Also posted at:
- Fanfiction.net: https://www.fanfiction.net/s/11587953/1/I-think-we-are-villains
- Archive of Our Own: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24677416
- Wattpad: https://www.wattpad.com/902463185-i-think-we-are-villains
